Did you love your father?

[Ike Savage]

this was my first fathers' day since my dad passed away last thanksgivings (nov 2011). i made out a nice card for him but had no place to send it to. it made me realise how pitiful a job i've done for him over the years in terms of letting him know how much i loved and appreciated him.

dad was a doctor and immigrant from peru to the USA and went through a hard life to make good things happen for his nuclear family. i am particularly ashamed that i didn't let him know moreso how proud i was of him while he was alive. some things we just don't get do-overs on, unfortunately.

every situation is different, of course, and it's not right for me to tell anyone else how to conduct relationships with their family. just that, in the spirit of the day, please try to let your dad know how meaningful he was to your life, assuming he was, actually. the particular day you honor him doesn't really matter, i've found. after all, parents just go nuts with pleasure when you do something nice and appreciative for them... something to honor them. they don't get remotely that level of thanks and appreciation from any other source on earth, unfortunately.

pardon me if i've rambled, here. i posted this here and at the ISH basketball forums (gigantes) and have pretty-much said my piece, now.

but if you have a cool anecdote about your dad to tell, i am all ears. IMO our dads' stories have not been told nearly enough to friendly ears. really, criminally so...

[StevOz]

Well I play golf with my old man twice a week, I'm not always in the same group as him, although we do usually team up in team events, playing a 3 man ambrose with him on Saturday, so we should win, we usually go close. He has a electric buggy, I walk...

His golf record...

http://www.golflink.com.au/HandicapH..._no=6680700005

Mine...

http://www.golflink.com.au/HandicapH..._no=6680700001

Oh and my second name is James, being his name.

Also worked with the same company years ago, a metal fab shop, he was the pay clerk, I was a trade assistant, so yeah we get along, no hugs or back slaps mind, though we get along and appreciate each others company.

Now I work at the Golf course we play, so it's all good here...

[sleepy]

You don't always have to say more than enough, though you know you will wish you did anyhow.
If he did anything good for you and continued to do so to the end, then he knew that it was good to do so.

I can't say that about my old man. He was a grouch and a user, and he left this world on opium while in the hospital in his last days, and even then he only turned away. Self centered and bitter.
A true 'Star', but with 'no apparent connections'.

[tiltjlp]

I cared for my dad his last 7 1/2 years, after he suffered a massive stroke. I fought back to where he only had severe memory loss, and problems walking. During that time, he showed me in many ways what was important in life, friendship and loyalty. Even with his limitations, he cared more about his friends than about himself. He died back in 1995, but I still think of him often, mainly because there's no way I'll ever be his equal, but that's fine with me.

[Ike Savage]

thanks all, and thanks for sharing.

[faralos]

Me and my dad didn't get along until after my divorce in '02
when certain things that happened in our childhoods was brought into the open
we only were close from '02 until '09 when he passed away from Brain Cancer
but to this day he is still my mentor and hero, I only wish I could be half the great man he was
this site I go to every now and then to 'talk' with him
To all who have lost a dad - Michael Schulte - YouTube so whenever you get the chance always let your folks know how much you cherish them

[kristian]

Sorry to hear those stories.

I used to fight (not physically but verbally) a lot with my dad when I was a teenager... I pretty much did things my way... and of course didn't want to take any advice from him... I guess that's pretty typical for the boys. My parents got divorced when I was 7... so I didn't see him that much during those difficult years.

When it comes to politics and all that, we still pretty much disagree on everything. But I don't actually care... he has his strong opinions and so do I.... it doesn't matter that he's wrong.

I guess we're pretty close these days... especially after my son was born. I have a great relationship with my dad... and he's still (relatively) young... just 66... and in great, great shape.