Help sleepy Remember More Useless Things

[sleepy]

I was thinking to myself for a change...
and I reminded myself of odd businesses and opportunities which I read in the backpages of comic books and, God Knows where else.

The knick-knacks and gags offered by Honor House, the original mail order purveyor of useless things. And Johnson Smith, a mail order gag, novelty and supplier of props for magicians.

I cannot remember where I encountered Blackhawk Films, or the NY warehouse that sold blocks of 1,000 45 RPM singles for a penny a piece, but in blocks of 1000.

Blackhawk films offered 8mm home movie prints of B and Z films, but silent-only; many Ed Wood films, with a few selected films offered in 16mm prints,
and they featured a series of 8mm films of the French model and actress "Arletty", for connoisseurs of "French model art films".
Arletty even has a wikipedia page!

Wikipedia (Links)

Arletty

I also remember Adams novelties and magic tricks. This was a company that sold novelties such as "The Smoking Dog"; a tiny plastic dog that came with a tiny bag of "cigarettes". You were instructed to place the "cigarette" in the dog's mouth and light it.
Once lit, the "cigarette" would elicit tiny smoke rings from the tiny plastic dog.

Adams also sold "Magic Magician Smoke" which came in a tube. You applied "Magic Magician Smoke" to your fingertips and then pressed them together, and then quickly sprang them apart and the "magic smoke" would appear.
In actuality, it was only glue making glue fibers that was supposed to pass for "magic smoke", but it really wasn't very convincing, and then you had to remove the glue residues from your fingertips on your own. Removal of "magic smoke" came with absolutely no instructions.

Do you remember anything about these, or have your own personal story to tell?

If you do not, I understand. These are matters which you really had to be there at the time to appreciate!

[GSGregg]

Nice, wholesome things were found there; the Secret of Dim Mak, for instance, and of course Yubiwaza! "Disable any attacker with only one finger!"

On my mantel next to the Sea Monkeys aquarium.

[StevOz]

Um this perhaps...

Mostly meaningless and useless these days...

Wikipedia (Links)

United_States_Constitution

Or am I being too obvious?

[GSGregg]

I believe some attorneys hang copies on their walls for dart practice.

[sleepy]

Now Steve, dare not dispute the power of Democracy, not even against the mere Inalienable Rights of the Republic.

You are likely to disparage those voters who have too much time on their hands. Or those who still think that an Act of Confederacy is only about The Civil War. Been there. Done that. Slavery is Dead!
It is Certainly Not Us...

Once in Pennsylvania back in the 60's, me and my Aunt stopped at a Country Store and at the counter they happened to have a candy jar full of helicopter ground flowers. This was a spinning firework with a bare aluminum fan blade attached to the top of it.
You sat it down on a smooth area of concrete and lit it. The traditional sky rocket spray of colorful sparks spat out the side which spun it, while the attached fan blade then caused it to fly upward and beyond.


Now I am wondering...When The U.S. brought Democracy to Iraq, did they bother to protect The Rights of The People as a Republic?

[Rick2006]

I Went to a roadside flea market with my Grandparents in the Mid 1960's.
Grand Pa bought a stack of about 50 comic books for me. He paid 25 cents.
The back pages had some wierd offers.

I rember XRAY GLASSES, They had a Feather in the lens to make it look like
you could see bones when you looked at your hand.

Also, do you remember GRIT Magazine/Newspaper. Kids could buy a bunch
of them for resale. I never did that.

Rick.

[Shockman]

Iraq is not a republic.

[sleepy]

Earn Money Selling The Grit!

And Earn A Brand New Bicycle by Selling Burpee Seeds Door-to-Door!

[sleepy]

As for stacks, in 1977 I got suckered in to buying "The Star Wars Giant Collector's Edition #1" comic book, for $5 at a newsstand.

I threw it away in 1984 after stopping at K-Mart and seeing stacks of 10-count bundles of aftermarket overprint comic books being sold for $2, and each and every bundle on "The Blue Light Special Table" included a copy of "The Star Wars Giant Collector's Edition #1"...
I probably would have made more money selling my first edition copy of "High Society", but I threw that away too...

[Ike Savage]

i see a lot of these ads in old c-books, particularly in dell comics, which i read a lot because of john stanley's excellent work in the little lulu (etc) line. i've clipped a lot of these images and thought that one day i might share the collection with others, but i've never been quite sure who would really be interested, even among sentimental baby boomers.

check out "cross-eyed cyclops" sometime for a magnificent collection of scanned, old-tyme comics for download. just... do it fast, because the links are getting eradicated daily.
http://cosseyedcyclops.blogspot.com/

[faralos]

oh who doesn't recall sea monkeys? or snapping gum?
or even the trick gum flavors (garlic, hot pepper)
how about the handshake buzzer?

[Rick2006]

Anyone remember The Finger Guillotine.
The trick was to cut a carrot,, Then cut
your finger off. It worked perfectly every time.
I have all eight fingers to prove ,,,,,it mostly,,,

[Shockman]

Iraq is still not a republic.

[ruby651]

Originally Posted by Rick2006

Anyone remember The Finger Guillotine.
The trick was to cut a carrot,, Then cut
your finger off. It worked perfectly every time.
I have all eight fingers to prove ,,,,,it mostly,,,

Yep, I owned one of those. Along with this amazing device made of two rollers and a hand-crank. Put a blank piece of paper in one end, and a dollar came out the other end! Of course, the dollar was already wrapped up in the device. I was pretty sure I was gonna be printing my own money when I ordered that one.
Here's a great one that I'm attaching from a WWII-era comic book... the krak-a-jap machine gun! Just a tad racist.

[GSGregg]

Wish I hadn't thrown away my mail-ordered full-size plastic replica of the Fairchild AR-5 Air Force survival rifle. The barrel unscrewed and was stored with the action(?)---in the stock! Cute gun.....although you'd get cop-shot if you tried carrying one nowadays.

Then there was my similarly-featured long-barreled Colt .45.....

Come to think of it, it wasn't I who threw them away. My Pinball-is-Gambling parents didn't like guns much, either.....not even plastic ones.

[sleepy]

Damn ruby, for a moment I thought you were going to discuss a rolling machine.
But you can always burn leaves in the yard, or is that still legal where you are?

Had the plastic "Peanuts Figures (Charlie Brown, Linus) balloons" with the self-sealing stem that came free with every loaf of Webbers Bread, a giant beach ball in the shape and design of a tube of "Vote Toothpaste" which was a short-lived brand of same in '67, and used to have fun flying stock plain janey Kites.

A school chum used to make matchstick guns using Strike-Anywhere wooden matches. The gun was made with spring-load clothespins by inverting the spring and the pins.
Fire the gun at any concrete surface to launch the match and have it ignite when striking the concrete.

And somewhere...there is a really stupid picture of me on the ground aiming a very real M-15 rifle at the age of 13 as a photo op.
I was a newpaperboy and earned enough subscriptions during a canvassing contest to win a trip to San Diego in '67.

I/we stayed at Camp Pendleton Marine Base...

While there, they also showed us the weapons of the Viet Cong.
For instance, a cutaway mannequin foot painted red with bamboo spears stuck in it as a mock up of a boot-sized Punji Pit.
Here is a man-sized version of it,Quote"Illustration by Paul Marquis. When a man falls into the Punji Pit, ...":

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...ed=0CGQQ9QEwAQ

[Rick2006]

We used to use those "Strike Anywhere matches for BOLT BOMBS"

Now that those matches are no longer for sale,,,,, Here is
how we did it,,,,,,,,,,,,Please,,,,this could blow up in your hand,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so Don't do this.

A bolt bomb was 2 3/4 inch bolts conected by one Nut
screwed by 2 screws, one in the bottom, and one in the top.
In the middle was the nut where we would stuff the shaved
tops of the matches. The Trickey part was to tighten the bolts
without igniting the match heads The fun was to spin them in the air
and when they hit the ground they would explode and then one of the bolts
would blast soo high in the air that it would
fall back down "It seemed to take Forever."

PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS,,,


Rick

[sleepy]

A no-no from my past is to take two cans with the tops removed making sure one can will fit loosely within the other. You do Not want a tight fit, believe me.
Take the smaller can and punch a small hole in the bottom center.
Take the larger can and add some water.
Set the larger can on a secure flat surface, one that will not allow the can to tip over.
Slip the smaller can bottom up in the larger can of water.
Insert a firecracker in the hole all the way up to the fuse and light it.

Then Run Like Hell Before it Launches The Smaller Can Like a Missile.

As you put it, do not try this at home.

There was a smart punk kid in our apartments many years ago who, one 4th of July Evening thought he would be cute setting off a sky rocket by aiming it at one of the neighbor's bedroom windows.

Luckily for him, it hit the dry tree just outside the window causing it to burst into flames. Smoke was everywhere creating zero visibility and the blazing tree in the darkness gave the huge amounts of smoke a terrifying orange glow and for sure, it looked like a good portion of this 103 unit apartment complex was engulfed and going down.

He was a problem child, something to do with Hollywood...

Again, do not try this at home...

[Rick2006]

How we survived without a trip to the hospital
in the 1960's Was just Pure luck.

Flaming Hair spray to melt Green Army Men Toys.,,,,

Draino Bombs with Aluminum foil,,,

BB guns we would shoot boats in my friends Pond.
We would make models of battle ships,,,,
then have fun blasting them apart.

Those were some FUN Days to be a kid.

Rick

[JonPurpleHaze]

Love the thread, I was the proud owner of a fake thumb but my favorite was a weather balloon that I ordered and actually launched into the sky!

Unfortunately, I never saw it again...

[sleepy]

Flaming Hair Spray Rick!
You mean "The James Bond Trick", an aerosol can of "007 Deodorant Spray" and a cigarette lighter?

And Draino Bombs? Is that something about "getting wet"?
One night while looking for gold, I slipped a wet paste of sand and concentrated Lye into a sheet of foil in the bathroom sink....

I was trying to dissolve the sand with the lye, to convert it to soluble sodium silicate...God, What a Bomb That Was!
Little did I know that I was duplicating the very process that junior high science teachers use/once used to duplicate the explosive force of A Volcano...probably because I was sick that week, but would have loved to catch it.


Aurora ...had a "Reign of Terror/Chamber of Horrors" line of model kits in '64/'65. One was of the Guillotine, with a working victim.
The idea was, you build this kit and then spend all day lopping off the head of the hapless prisoner. Aurora also had the Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin model kits.

Revel had Ed "Big Daddy Roth" Monster Car and standalone characters model kits, "the green Big Daddy" with the beer belly shifting a custom '57 Impala with an air injection block popping out of a chopped hood, and "The Rat Fink".
And each of "The Beatles". I had a Ringo model kit in '64.
Didn't know what to do with it.

[Rick2006]

Originally Posted by ruby651

Yep, I owned one of those. Along with this amazing device made of two rollers and a hand-crank. Put a blank piece of paper in one end, and a dollar came out the other end! Of course, the dollar was already wrapped up in the device. I was pretty sure I was gonna be printing my own money when I ordered that one.
Here's a great one that I'm attaching from a WWII-era comic book... the krak-a-jap machine gun! Just a tad racist.

So... You had to tell everyone the secret to the dollar bill maker.
I had one. Now I have to WORK for a living again...

[Rick2006]

ICE BALLS thrown at City Buses in the Winter.
One of my friends lived on a busy street,,,buses came by
every 15 minutes. We would wait in my friends backyard until
we saw a bus drive by....looking for a bus going South.
When the bus was between the house to the North,,,
We threw the ice ball to hit the bus on the South side
WE timed it to hit the bus with a big THUG...The sound let
us know we had hit the bus. The bus could never stop because
the driver had to stay on thier schedule.... HA


Elevator Rides

We did this to freak out old people.
A Popular Pharmacy had two floors with an
elevator between the two floors.
ALL elevaters have an access door in the ceiling.
We would hide in the top of the elevator.
When the Oldsters were leaving the elevator
We would drop down and leave the elevator
behind them. We made enough noise to make
them turn and say to themselves,,,WTF.
It was really,really funny.

Squish a Penny
We put a penny on the railroad track,,,
thought the penny might derail the train,
It did not.


BOY SCOUT LIGHT BULB CONFESSiON

I was a boy scout in the 1960's
We had a BIG LIGHT BULB sale
to make money for the scouts.
Every sale brought money to the Scouts,,,
and also if I sold enough light bulbs
I could earn some camping gear,,,,
like a backpack.
Well, I went to a store and bought a single pack
of the bulbs we were to sell.
The Scouts were to start selling the bulbs
on Saturday.
I took my bulbs around to EVERY HOME in
my neighborhood one Saturday sooner. Ha,,one Saturday sooner than the official start for sales. I told everyone that I was taking
presale orders and I would deliver thier bulbs
in 4 weeks. I cleaned up big time.
I was the BEST SELLER,,,,,,I think I won a CRAP backpack.


Fun things I did to make a sale to OLD PEOPLE,,,

I used to do 2 bad things when I was 12 years old.

1) I used to put my finger over the little EYE SPY in
many oldsters doors. They were soo clueless that they would open the
door to check why their EYE SPY did not work,,,,

Then I did the CLASSIC MOVE,,, I put my foot in the door,,,
They could not close their door untill they bought some
light bulbs from me.

Rick
It was really funny,,,,,, They would try to kick my foot away.

[sleepy]

Geez Rick, in my neighborhood you'd be lucky if you didn't get your foot sawed off. Property Rights and Abatement Law in California are stiff, hi!

There used to be broadcast pay t.v., ON TV and Select TV, late 70's-early 80's, and they did it by varying the amplitude of the sync pulses so that, if you didn't have the subscription box, the picture would tear and roll due to the irregular amplitude of the video sync pulses.

I tore off the back of the family t.v. and bridged the preamp circuit with a capacitor and potentiometer to filter the sync amplitudes, then watched the midnight porno shows.

[GSGregg]

And the Time Constant rears her pretty head again....

[rascal]

I remember falling for this one. My very own 7' tall U-control ghost!


Then when it arrived it was this. U-control was a spool of string.

[sleepy]

Hey rascal, what company was this from?
The ad looks like Johnson Smith.

I once made a paper mache severed head out of newspaper strips with tissue paper pressed over it for skin, using layers of clear (orange-solvent) model cement to build up the lenses (corneas) in the eyes.
It looked really good, had no use for it, hid it under my bed.

You can make quick paper mache pulp by running dry paper through a dry blender. The blender shreds it to fine fibers. Makes the best paper shredder too! Leaves absolutely no trace of readable print.
I often used water to cook corn starch, stirring constantly, to make a thin paste for the paper mache.

[rascal]

Originally Posted by sleepy

Hey rascal, what company was this from?
The ad looks like Johnson Smith.

You're on the ball, sleepy, yes it was a Johnson Smith ad.

This picture came from a book called "Mail-Order Mysteries" by Kirk Demarais.

Found this youtube too.
Mail-Order Mysteries Book Trailer - Secrets Revealed! - YouTube

[sleepy]

Eureka! I found Johnson Smith!

http://www.johnsonsmith.com/

But no central site. They've diversified and my Mom had a "Betty's Attic" catalog mailed to her and I didn't even know that It was Them...

I mean, I should have known..."Betty's Attic" sells things like the "I Love Lucy Wall Clock".

[GSGregg]

So, do they have a Seven-foot-ghost Wall Clock?