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pinballdaveh 09-07-2016 10:51 AM

and now another edition of how to be manly. you are playing pinball at your favorite downtown arcade. after playing awhile you go outside for a breather. you see that a new pet store has just opened across the street and they have a sign outside saying snake exhibit today. this might be something manly to watch , so you go across the street and go in. to your suprise the snake exhibit is being done by a highly attractive female snake handler. she gives new meaning to the word HERpetologist. she describes the different types of snakes, their latin names, their habitat, what they eat, and so on. you find this boring and not very manly. you figure that this burmese beauty could use a dose of your manliness but how do you accomplish this in a manly manner. follow along in your manly manual and repeat after me.
#1 hey snake lady i've got a snake i'd like to slither into your den RIGHT HEERE.
#2 hey yummy britches lets play feed the snake, you be the snake, un-hook your jaw, and try to swallow me head first.
#3 hey toots why don't you put on some metallic lipstick, give me oral sex, then i'll have a copper head.
#4 hey sweet cakes after your done giving me oral sex you will remind me of my favorite snake, a spitting cobra.
use any or all of these phrases in just such a situation and what happens next leaves you gasping for air as a live boa constrictor is thrown at you wrapping itself around your neck. as the female snake handler will have no doubts as to what kind of man you really are. until next time this is mr. manly saying

GSGregg 09-07-2016 11:05 AM

Yeah; I like it when Daryl Hannah comes to me in a dream, too

Ike Savage 09-07-2016 07:43 PM

pro tip: before proceeding, make she doesn't have unhingeable jaws.

it's the same principle as deepwater fish-- their jaws float and their bodies are basically expandable stomachs, allowing them to swallow fish bigger than them. yes... nature is indeed metallic.

Coil_Smoke 09-08-2016 05:38 AM

Late At Night's When They Come Out...
I'm Sure You Know
What I'm Talking About

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